Confidence Is Not a Feeling - It’s a Skill.
Many parents say the same thing after games:
“My child just needs more confidence.”
But confidence isn’t something a player either has or doesn’t have.
It’s not a personality trait, and it’s not something that magically appears on game day.
Confidence is a skill, and like any skill, it can be trained.
Why Confidence Feels Inconsistent in Young Players
You may notice your child:
Looks confident in training but hesitant in games
Plays freely at home but cautiously under pressure
Loses belief after one mistake
This happens because most young players are taught what to do with the ball, but not how to manage their thoughts while doing it.
Confidence collapses when:
A player’s identity is tied to outcomes
Mistakes feel personal
Self-talk becomes critical or fearful
The Three Foundations of Real Confidence
1. Identity
Confident players know who they are regardless of results.
When a child believes:
“I am a learner. I am brave. I try things.”
Mistakes don’t destroy confidence, they inform it.
2. Preparation
Confidence grows from knowing you’ve put in the work.
Not perfection.
Not comparison.
Preparation.
Players who trust their preparation trust themselves.
3. Self-Talk
Every player has a voice in their head.
The difference between confident and unconfident players is not silence, it’s tone.
We help players learn to replace:
“Don’t mess this up”
With:
“I’ve handled this before.”
What Parents Can Do
Praise effort and decision-making, not just results
Normalize mistakes as part of learning
Ask reflective questions instead of giving instructions
Confidence isn’t built by removing challenge, it’s built by supporting players through it.
Final Thought
When confidence is trained, it becomes stable.
And when confidence is stable, skill has space to show up.